Because we could all do with some help when it comes to figuring out what to buy our beloved Mothers…
The widely celebrated day is coming up on 11th March 2018 here in the UK. If you’re stumped for ideas and would like a quick solution (think click link-purchase-no worries type deal), then scroll on down and see what catches your eye.
For the Yankee Candle loving Mum
Candles help Mums chill out. They are a big hit. Get them here
For the Mum with the new baby
Sizes go up to 12 months for this super cute vest. Surprise her in the morning! She’ll love it 🙂 Grab it here
For the thirsty Mum
You’re giving her support to drink wine. It’ll go down well. Geddit
For the super thirsty Mum
Pre-order this for her and make Mother’s Day a great day for everyone.
If after all that you haven’t been inspired, just grab her an Amazon gift voucher and then she’ll definitely love her gift. After all, who knows her better than she knows herself?
I hope these gifts at least gave you some ideas! Thank you for coming to visit the blog! If you enjoyed this post please give it a like and share it with anyone you feel would benefit! As always any comments are much appreciated and you can find more from me on Facebook or Instagram.
Self-Love is super important, I believe it’s step number one in creating a better life for yourself.
When you increase your self love you will also raise self-confidence, self-worth, self-esteem.
Increasing your self-love positively effects all areas of your life; your relationships, the treatment you’ll accept from others, how well you help others, your self-care, the standards and values you have in all areas of life.
You can’t pour from an empty cup and by increasing your self-love you’ll pour into others’ automatically because your own cup will be overflowing.
Monitor Your Self-Talk
By “self-talk” I mean how you talk to yourself in your own head (hello inner critic) and also how you talk about yourself to others.
I used to talk very negatively about myself, especially after i had my second baby and had put back on the weight i had lost in the 9 months previous to the pregnancy. I would say things like, “I’m disgusting” and “I feel like a man”. I would even say I hated myself sometimes.
I held the belief that to feel better about myself I needed to lose weight. Any compliments I got rolled off me; I didn’t believe any of them.
I remember beginning my journey with self-love. One of the very first tools I ever used was positive affirmations. They are something that you don’t need money or supplies for. They are something every one if us has the power to use and they were something I could start using IMMEDIATELY in order to increase my self-love.
For me, I used my “I ams” straight up. Going from “I am disgusting” to “I am beautiful” or “I am sexy” was quite a flip flop. It took me a while to believe it ALL the time – although I definitely had my positive moments in the beginning where I believed it.
I made the effort to monitor and change what I said about myself to others as well. I would say “I am awesome” and “I am hilarious” rather than “I am so fat” or “I am a mess”.
If you’ve been using quite negative self-talk for a while, then “I am awesome” may feel like a lie, or “I love me” may be a stretch. This is why it can be better to start off with “I am learning to love me” or “I am beginning to see my beauty, inside and out”.
If the positive affirmation is something you don’t believe about yourself, use the following to begin the affirmation:
I am starting to
I am learning to
I am beginning to
I am becoming
Keep your affirmations…
Positive – Meaning focus on what you want to GAIN rather than what you want to lose. Instead of “I am losing weight every day” use “I am becoming fitter and healthier every day”.
Present – Have the affirmations in the present tense. When you use these affirmations in the present tense as an “I am doing this”, you will begin doing it now, (explained more below), whereas if you use them in the future tense “I will do this”, then you will stay in the “waiting place” of life, just waiting to take action towards moving forward.
Personal – Make these affirmations personal to yourself. Take something you don’t like about yourself and say “I’m learning to love my nose”. Take something you want to improve about yourself and say “I am improving my self-talk”.
Repetition to change your beliefs
The thing about your self-talk, thoughts and affirmations is, once you bring these changes into your conscious mind and use repetition to make it go into your deeper, subconscious mind it becomes your new totally NATURAL go-to thought and belief.
Say these affirmations over and over and over again until they STICK. Repeat them any time you need them. Morning and night, stick them on your phone screen saver so you see them every time you look at your phone, stop yourself when you hear something negative about yourself coming out of your mouth and replace it with the new affirmation.
Repeating these affirmations will positively change your behaviour
Your thoughts affect your behaviour, and so using these new, positive affirmations means that almost without even realising it, you’ll begin new behaviours that support these new beliefs about yourself.
New behaviours I experienced were things like:
Doing more exercise – especially enjoying Martial Arts
Spending more time doing things i enjoy,
Socialising more and meeting new people (raised confidence),
Removing toxic friendships and distancing myself from family members who made me feel bad about myself at all (raised self-respect),
Going to events like music concerts and saving up for my passport so that i can make travel a PRIORITY,
Having my children greet me with “i like your dress mummy” or “wow pretty eyes” in the morning when i get dressed because that’s what they hear me saying to them, about myself and about others,
Seeing my friends positively changing how they talk and feel about themselves
Practically non-existent levels of guilt and resentment because I help others due to wanting to rather than because I feel I “have” to
Eliminating my “problems” much quicker in life, instead of ignoring them and allowing them to pile up to a crisis point, because I am much stronger and much more able to deal with them
Less procrastination and more productiveness in the way of “going for my goals” because I believe I am worthy of success and my dreams coming true
The list of positives from increasing my levels of self-love is endless. I could go on and on. The great thing is that it’s not only positive for myself but also for the people around me, like my friends, family and children. They see the example I am setting and it indirectly teaches them to do the same thing.
The thing about self-love is that when you increase your self-love you also love other people even more. You feel more joy and connection in your relationships, because there are no uncomfortable boundaries being crossed, and therefore no underlying resentment for the other person.
The truth I always remind myself of, is that, YOU are the ONLY PERSON that you will be with every minute of every day for the rest of your life…so make sure you love to hang out with you.
Thank you for coming to visit the blog! If you enjoyed this post please give it a like and share it with anyone you feel would benefit! As always any comments are much appreciated and you can find more from me on Facebook or Instagram.
FOMO is an acrynom for Fear Of Missing Out. You can have FOMO on socialising, events, and ideas or creative projects in life. An example sentence using FOMO could be, “I was supposed to hang out with my Mum tonight, but FOMO took over so I cancelled with her and came to this party.”
In my opinion, FOMO is a life threatening disease, as it threatens quality of life in many different ways. The BIG obvious point about how FOMO does this is the fact that it causes people to act out of fear. It’s time to do a 360 turn here and begin to act out of FAITH.
Here are 4 tips to overcoming FOMO and begin living and making decisions with purpose:
REFOCUS YOUR FOMO
If you’re the creative type and have many different passions and ideas in life, it can be difficult to focus on one idea to completion. I speak from experience here. A quote I try to remember at all times is:
“When you try to do everything, you end up doing nothing.”
Reframe your FOMO to make it work for you. Instead of having FOMO on ONE of your creative ideas, have a FOMO on ALL of your creative ideas.
Wouldn’t it be better to have finished one creative masterpiece in your life than have started twenty and never finished them? Especially if, like me, it’s in a case of writing novels. There’s nothing that annoys a reader more than a story that isn’t all wrapped up nicely at the end!
What happened to Ted? WHAT HAPPENED?
This refocus of FOMO will help you to be more productive and fully finish a project! Then at least that to-do list is getting smaller. Winning!
TAKE ONE OPTION AWAY
When you have two options and are having trouble deciding which to go with pretend one option is no longer available to you and note how you feel about that loss. Then do it again for the other one.
For example, you have been asked out for dinner with some friends who don’t get together very often on Saturday and that same night your sister has asked you to come to a Spa get away with her so you have to decide which to go to.
If you take away one option (say, the dinner) and pretend it’s no longer available to you, how does that feel?
Does your heart skip a beat and your stomach hit the floor because you really wanted to go? Choose this event.
Or do you breathe a sigh of relief and feel like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders? Choose the other event.
ASK YOURSELF THESE QUESTIONS
How will this event/idea serve me? Is it going to bring something positive or useful into my life? Is it going to help me in some way? Sometimes the only thing an event brings into your life is fun…and this is fine! We all need harmless fun and laughter sometimes. As long as there’s no negative impact because of it I say YES it’s serving me!
Will there be an opportunity to do it again or is it a one-time thing? Be honest with this one. Grab any one-time opportunities with both hands. Listen to your gut instincts.
Is this what I really want to do or is this something someone else wants me to do? Has this event or idea been hyped up by your friend because it’s something that they really want to do, but don’t want to do alone? Are you suffering a case of second-hand FOMO? Is it possible your FOMO isn’t about the event itself but rather the friendship that may be negatively impacted by your saying no?
LIVE IN THE PRESENT MOMENT
If you’ve passed up on one event and went to another, but while you’re there all you can think about is the event you’re not at – wondering who all is there, what they’re doing and whether they’re having more fun – then you’re not only missing out on the event you passed up on, but you’re also missing out on the event you’re actually at!
When you’re doing something but your mind isn’t there because you’re worrying about something or someone, you’re missing out on the present moment.
You create your own reality through your perspective. The truth is the only things that are 100% real are the things happening right in front of you in the present moment. Everything else that could possibly be happening is an illusion.
When you focus on where you could be or what you think you’re missing out on, the only thing you’re missing out on is what’s right in front of you.
YOU CAN CREATE THE BEST TIMES
Don’t look for fun, happiness or good times outside of yourself. You get to choose these things irrespective of circumstance. You get to decide how much you’re going to enjoy an event. Be the person creating FOMO for others because you’re so enjoyable to be around, wherever you are or whatever you’re doing.
You radiate energy – we all do. Have you ever walked into a room and felt the tension before? I know I have. Energy attracts like energy. Have you ever been in a rather chipper mood and then your pissed off spouse, brother, kid, Mum or WHOEVER walks into your day, says something miserable and instantly your own mood has dropped like a hot potato to match theirs?
Decide to radiate an energy of fun, friendly playfulness and you’ll never have to worry about FOMO again, because you know you’re going to have the best time that you could have, no matter what you’re doing.
When FOMO takes over, it can leave you feeling exhausted, unproductive and anxious. Take a moment to think about things before you act out of FOMO and make choices that will fuel you rather than drain you.
With even one of the tips above, you’ll be able to overcome the FOMO hurdle and begin enjoying every event and idea you take action on, because the action was taken from a place of faith and strength.
I hope these tips for overcoming FOMO come in useful for you! If you enjoyed this post please give it a like and share it with anyone you feel would benefit! As always any comments are much appreciated and you can find more from me on Facebook or Instagram.
Setting an intention for a new year is like setting an aim for that year. You can make the intention as vague or as detailed as you’d like, but the act of setting any intention at all is quite powerful.
When you send an intention out into the Universe, especially when it’s an intention you are very passionate and excited about, the Universe has a way of conspiring to make it happen for you.
Side note: Universe is the word I use, you might say God, Angels, Devine energy, the energy all around you at all times, or something to that effect.
The Quick and Easy Way
One simple way to set intentions for the coming year is to create a “theme” for the year that you can keep reminding yourself of and coming back to any time you veer off course.
For example, I made 2017 the “year of me”. This meant that throughout 2017 I wanted to put myself first, look after myself, make sure I was spending my time in ways which made me really happy, rather than constantly putting the needs of others before myself, ignoring my own needs and perhaps any little problems that creeped up with my health, house or car, and later becoming overwhelmed when it all piled up and I had no other choice but to deal with it.
This theme was a great idea for me, because any time I felt like I was ignoring my own wants or needs I could remind myself that this was “my year” and give myself that little kick up the backside to get back on course again!
Throughout the year I took my self care up a notch:
I started to get my nails and hair done professionally, which I never would have cared much about before
I ended a “situationship” (where you’re with a guy and it’s not an official relationship but from the outside it sure looks that way) because I realised the kind of effort that I was exerting wasn’t being matched and instead of trying harder, like I would have in the past, I decided to move on
I made sure to stay on top of any car or home repairs throughout the year
I read lots of books and carved out time to do so
I spent time with the friends I really wanted to see and distanced myself from some people I didn’t enjoy being around
I went on more walks in nature, spent time on family days out with the kids, threw myself a birthday party and started saving for my passport (which I will have enough money for soon wooohoooo)
I went to an event I really wanted to go to, by myself, and ended up meeting people who would help me begin to become a life coach
I spent lots of time alone, enjoying my own company and learning to love myself more and more
4 Questions to ask yourself about 2018
You can use any or all of the below! Do what you like with ’em – it’s your year after all.
1) What would I like to feel MORE of in 2018?
If you set yourself a goal in 2018, for example, losing weight, ask yourself why you want that goal, what is it you want to feel due to achieving it? To feel more confident, beautiful, love yourself more, feel attractive?
Once you get a handle on the FEELINGS you would like, the how opens up for you.
For example if you want to lose weight to feel like you love yourself more, there are many more ways than just losing weight to do so:
You can use positive affirmations
make sure to look after your health and wellbeing by developing better self care
schedule in some pampering hair/nail/make-up/massage appointments
make sure your self talk is positive
do things you enjoy etc
2) What strengths/talents would I love to develop within the next year?
This could be something that will help you in your career, with being a mum, in your friendships or relationship, or something that will help you have more FUN in life over all.
You can also take a “weakness”, such as procrastinating or poor time-keeping and decide to develop these as strengths. For myself, I’m going to have a go at painting in 2018 as my Granda was an artist and I’m interested to see if I have an artistic streak within me too!
3) If I could only set myself ONE goal per year, what goal would I set for 2018?
This is a great way to focus your energy in 2018. One issue with a list of New Years resolutions is that quite often there are just too many and when you try to do everything you end up doing nothing.
So hypothetically, say you could only set yourself one goal in 2018, what goal would you set? It could be learning to drive, joining a golf club, learning to play guitar, starting a YouTube channel, going on holiday, learning to swim, saving a certain sum of money, moving house, finding a new job or whatever you like!
Setting yourself ONE goal, a goal that you really want and that gets you super excited for the possibilities that will open up for you due to achieving it, is a great way to avoid overwhelm and to prioritise your to do list for the coming year.
4) What is something new that I’d like to try FOR FUN in 2018?
Imagine! Setting a goal to have fun! Yes, yes, yes! It’s those who prioritise enjoying life that enjoy life 🙂
What’s that one thing you’ve always wanted to do, just for fun? Is it to start a band, go to Disney Land, climb a mountain, join a theatre group, create a comic book, go sky diving, go kayaking, ride a horse, knit clothes for teddy bears, or volunteer at your local dog shelter?
Whatever it is, if it has been something you’ve been putting off due to “not having time” for years, then 2018 is the year to make time!
And that wraps up the questions! Those are a few ideas to get you started with setting your 2018 intentions. You can go into it in as much or as little detail as you’d like, it’s all about doing it in a way which makes you happy and excited.
Remember – the mind works in pictures – so picture yourself doing the things you would love to do, set the goal and then day dream about achieving it to have it come into fruition that little bit quicker!
Whatever your intentions for 2018, I hope you achieve everything that you want to and that it’s not another “same stuff, different year” situation. The time is now!
If you enjoyed reading this post and found it useful, please give it a like. You can subscribe to the blog via email in the side bar, or find more from me on my Facebook or Instagram. Leave a comment with some of your intentions or aims for 2018 below! I’d love to hear from you!
It’s the time of the year where I take a look back at everything that happened throughout the last 12 months and remember all the GOOD.
2017 has undoubtedly been one of the best years of my life. I set out the year with the intention of making it all about me (for a change). Doing the things I like to do with the people I like to be with and making self care a priority.
I can say that I mostly followed through with this intention and over all the year has been a life changing one when it comes to personal growth and healing!
Drum roll please! In no particular order….
Gaining a BEST friend
I was one of those kids who had people come in and out of life, but never really stay. I decided to distance myself or the other person did. Either way, friendships for me usually only lasted a few months. Then Andrea (Mama Thrash) came along, or I came along, I’m not sure who made the first move (who am I kidding? It was probably me).
I live very close to her and somehow I found myself spending an awful lot of time at her house, or out shopping with her, or out dancing with her…and before we knew it we were telling each other everything. I can be my weird self around her! She tolerates my crap taste in music and my car singing performances. She is always there to say, “I’m not great with this emotional stuff but…it’ll be ok” when I’m down. She tells me she loves me and that I’m a 15 out of 10.
To have a friend that is only a facebook message away (phone anxiety is real with this one), who listens to my hopes and dreams and supports me in them, who is warming up to my koala bear hugs (don’t deny it girl, you love them) and who will help me out in times of need, even when she has other shit going on…that was a dream of mine that I didn’t even realise I had until right now…and it’s a dream that’s came true. I just had a moment there.
Don’t tell her any of this though; she’ll probably throw up all over the screen.
A dabble with Jeet Kune Do
This was an unexpectedly fun little venture! I’m a firm believer in doing “fun” exercise. Anything where you’re having so much fun the workout is an afterthought. So when my good friend Jude (and partner in crime to Mama T mentioned above) began to teach self defence classes and JKD I thought I’d give it a go. I was looking to become fitter and healthier and here was an opportunity.
Well, apparently I was a natural! Either it was the years playing Roller Derby and throwing kids around that helped me out or it was all the pent up aggression. It was more than likely a mixture of all three.
Boy did I LOVE it! Beating the crap out of a punching bag, learning how to throw Jude around a room and quite possibly save myself from some sort of physical attack. I had about 5 weeks of training before Jude left the place he was working in and decided to SET UP HIS OWN BUSINESS!
Street Smart Academy of Martial Arts opens in Lisburn on January 2nd 2018. I can’t recommend checking out JKD enough. Whether it’s for exercise, self-defence, fun times or competing and gaining your belts…if making some friends, learning something new, getting fit and relieving stress sounds good to you then this is something to try!
I still hear the shouts of “BAG…PAD…BAG…PAD” during the cardio workouts in my nightmares though.
Isabella Walking on her 2nd Birthday
Isabella is my youngest girl and when she was a baby she had Hip Dysplasia and was in a Pavlik Harness. This set back her physical milestones and so she had to have physiotherapy to help her learn how to sit up and crawl and walk! For a few months she was a knee-walker, knowing that she can move around on her knees and still hold things in her hands was as much freedom as she desired.
Before her 2nd birthday she had gotten as far as taking a few steps on her own, but she mostly walked around holding on to walls or furniture. I had a birthday party for her in my home and invited lots of baby friends to join in the party! When Bella saw these little people, who were smaller and younger than her, running around her home she decided to take off herself and began walking totally unaided!
It was an amazing day for everyone who witnessed it and soon after this she was discharged from physio therapy. Later this year she had her final hip x-ray and was discharged from the hospital too!
My 25th Birthday
Wooooh! My good friend Michelle threw me a surprise party for this! It was almost cancelled because my daughter had an ear infection, so the day itself ended with a trip to the out of hours doctor, but the wee party was amazing! There was a home made cake and e’rything!
The next night was AWESOME! So for my 24th Birthday I had an apartment in the City booked, but people pulled out for various reasons and it never went ahead. So this year I made some new friends (bye 2016 Felicia’s) and invited these two BABES to come up for some party time under the Summer sky and with those City viiiibes. We all had a fantastic time going from bar to bar until we settled in a club with the theme night of “Shit Disco” where they played classics such as “IF YOU LIKE PINA COLADAS, AND MAKIN’ LOVE IN THE RAIN…”
That song will always remind me of my Birthday night in Belfast now and I am forever grateful.
Seeing Alter Bridge in Belfast….twice
Alter Bridge is one of my most favourite bands. After going over to Manchester to see them in 2016, to learn they were coming to my home country not once, but TWICE in 2017, was a dream come true!
The venue was smaller so the atmosphere was better! The first time I had horrible sun burn all over my shoulders and so didn’t enjoy it as much as I wished. The second time I took my brother with me and seeing how happy he was just made my night!
Myles Kennedy has the voice of an angel. Being within a 10 foot radius of him was an experience I won’t forget!
Family time at my brother Kody’s Birthday
My family is CRAZY. They are the most hilarious, fun, weird and wonderful bunch of people I know and it’s not too often that we all get together these days. So when it was my little brother’s birthday and my Aunt, two Uncles and Granda came to celebrate at my Mum’s house it ended up being one of the highlights of the year!
There was singing, dancing, and lots of bouncy fun in the huge bouncy castle with the slide…and then the kids had some fun too. My little ladies got to spend time with their Great Granda, there was a delicious Barbeque and I had a nice lie down on a massage chair for about an hour somewhere in the middle of it all.
I give the whole experience 10/10. I love my family.
Taking my self-care up a notch
At the beginning of 2017 I proclaimed it to be “the year of me”. 2017 was going to be the year I looked after myself, put myself first, loved myself more, healed old wounds, went out and did the things I wanted to do, hung around the people I wanted to be around, listened to my intuition and began to follow my dreams!
When I look back now I think I did a pretty good job of all of that! I forgave myself and others for past hurts, I made time to do new, scary and exciting things which expanded my horizons and led me to even greater adventures, I spent time by myself, getting to know myself and enjoying my own company!
One of the biggest changes within me in 2017, I believe, was my level of self-worth. In 2017 I started to get my nails painted professionally on a regular basis, I got my hair cut and dyed in a salon for the first time in about 2 years, I bought myself new and pretty clothes, I learned how to properly apply make-up and I got my first ever facial.
These may not sound like massive achievements and on the surface they are not. But it’s the meaning behind these things that make them achievements. They mean that my level of self-love has risen, my level of self-respect has risen and I value myself enough to look after myself, invest in myself and treat myself. Successes all round!
Rylee starting school
My eldest Rylee turned 4 in September and then started Nursery School. She is such a beautiful, kind and clever little soul and I could not be more proud of her.
I have been a stay at home mum since she was born, so I’ve been there for all of her learning and growing. Now she comes home from her three hour day and can sing a new song or tell me about how traffic lights work.
She took to school like a champ! There was no “adjustment period” for her because she ran on in that first day without even a hug or goodbye from me!
This either means she has no fear of abandonment and has a secure attachment to me or that she is glad to get rid of me for a few hours!
Ignite Your Ultimate Power event and all that followed!
In October I saw an event advertised by Jiving Jim on his Passing Through Facebook page. The event was held by a life coach SteveyJ, who had trained with Tony Robbins and Bob Proctor and upon hearing of this event I immediately thought “These are my people! I must go!” like some sort of super hero finding her calling.
The event itself was awesome, we all did a fire walk which I posted about previously. However the people there were definitely the highlight! I may have went in with an agenda (I’m aiming to be a life coach, what can I learn here?) and so made sure to chat to Kevin, a coach who works with Stevey, to grab some tips and pointers.
I also signed up to Stevey’s weekend retreat, in November, which was one of the best experiences of my life. Ya’ll don’t need to leave your country to have a relaxing holiday is all I’m sayin’! Some great people, a nice wellness lodge and intentions to heal and level up in life work just as well!
Me letting go of my limiting beliefs at the retreat!
Following this retreat, Stevey set up a meeting with me, knowing by now that life coaching is my jam, and asked me my intentions for my life! I laid it all out for him – I want to help people, particularly women, teenagers and Mothers, to love themselves, follow their passions and break through any limiting beliefs placed on them by parents, society or themselves, and create a life they love!
By the end of that meeting plans were being put in place to have me coaching with Stevey’s team, joining the Super You project (empowering the youth of today in schools) and writing Stevey’s first book with him!
Manifesting dreams into reality at its finest there!
Realising I had lost weight
This was the cherry on top of the cake. The reason for this being so awesome is because I didn’t intentionally set out to do it…it just happened.
We can carry extra weight as protection from emotional hurt and trauma and I am living proof that one side effect of healing emotionally is physical weight loss.
The change is not massive, nor did it happen quickly. I take that as a positive though, because slow consistent weight loss means it’s more likely to stay off in the long term. Especially if it happened quite naturally without any thought of eating healthier or working out more.
Overall I lost around 14lb give or take (I don’t weigh myself, it was a doctors visit that told me this), went from a 34 bra strap to 32 and ended up donating half my wardrobe as my clothes were too big. At the beginning of the year I was wearing size 16 jeans and by the end, now, I can squeeze into size 12 skinny jeans.
2015 vs 2017 – same tee.
If you’ve heard of the whole mental health affecting weight before and doubted it was true, I’m here to tell ya it definitely is! Overall, from 2015 I’ve lost a lot of weight just by changing my mindset – not my physical habits!
2015 – 2016 – 2017 in those size 12 jeans, YAS GIRL!
Well….at least not consciously changing my habits 😉
What in depth post, that still did not do my 2017 justice at all! I hope you enjoyed this post, it has a real “getting to know me” vibe to it! 2018 is going to be another amazing year of growing and changing. I hope to be writing my 2018 end of year highlights from a warm beach somewhere or perhaps from underneath the Northern Lights!
Here’s to 2018 being our best year yet! If you’re beginning it by reading this post it can only get better from here 😛
With gratitude, Rachel x
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I was taking a shower today and the idea for this poem came to me! Showers are where many of my ideas come from to be honest! So I’ve learned to keep my phone in there and write down or record anything that comes to me as soon as it does so that I don’t forget it!
I spent the rest of the day putting this together, bit by bit. It’s by no means perfect, but it’s something I’d like to share with you all! I hope you enjoy it 🙂
There are moments of magic
within each day,
Follow the colourful rainbows
They will show you the way
When a loving face says
“It’ll all work out fine”
They have cast a quick spell
You’ll find down the line
There are moments of magic
within each day,
Follow the glow of the stars
They will show you the way
When you think about someone
And the phone rings then
You have sent an intention
They have felt the friend
There are moments of magic
within each day,
Follow the joyful butterflies
They will show you the way
When you go to an event
And meet someone new
Your eyes light up with wonder…
“I think I know you”
There are moments of magic
within each day,
Follow the sound of laughter
It will show you the way
When a song comes to mind
And you begin to hum and sing
Then at the same time
Someone does the same thing
There are moments of magic
within each day,
Follow the your inner guidance
It will not lead you astray
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I have loved reading for as long as I can remember. The Harry Potter Series was definitely one of my favourites as a kid, before I got into the Twilight Saga. Following this I went through a never-ending Young Adult fantasy novel phase (anything with Vampires is an instant win).
Over the past few years, since splitting with the Father of my kids and seeking to heal myself from old childhood wounds, get over depression and anxiety and begin creating an amazing life for myself, I’ve become a self-development, self-growth, positive mindset, learning and all round life-improvement junkie.
I go through phases where I read one book a week and some of them are brilliant and really stay with me while some of them I can lose interest in pretty quickly. So if you would like some advice on some great Self-Development books to get stuck into, here are my top 5 picks that I read in 2017, along with links to purchase them and a little bit about each one!
I’d recommend a notebook for each of these books, or a highlighter, or both! It’s great to take notes on anything that really pops out at you from the books, write down points and activities in your own words and then have these notebooks you’ve written yourself to look back on any time you need a boost, a reminder of something or some ideas to help you continue to walk the path you want to be walking in life.
Note: They weren’t all written in 2017, this is just when I read them!
The full title of this book is, “Style Your Mind: A Workbook and Lifestyle Guide For Women Who Want to Design Their Thoughts, Empower Themselves, and Build a Beautiful Life“.
Style Your Mind is full of inspiring quotes and explanations for each section, not just questions for you to ask yourself. The book is a great tool for you to be your own life coach, as all the answers to all your questions lie within yourself.
Some of the sections inside the book include:
Questions to help you create success within your life
Questions to help find and develop your strengths
Questions to help identify any blocks from your past or present thinking that are holding you back in any way
Practical goal setting
Practical advice on how to elevate your environment,
Raise your self-confidence,
And boost your mood.
One of my favourite parts that I will use again and again is the 30 day journal section, with three questions to ask yourself for each day! From the time I started this journal and finished it there were BIG changes in my life:
I ended my “situationship” (where you’re with a guy and have all the practical benefits of a relationship, without the deep emotional connection and commitment)
Went to the hair salon to get my hair cut and dyed professionally for the first time in years, rather than a box dye at home (growing my self-worth)
I applied for a new passport so I can follow my dream of traveling
I started this blog,
I went to a local event, met new people and began to make my dreams come true with these new friends (more on this soon!).
This book really helps you to dive into your self and REALLY get to know yourself. You can then use all this information to see what needs to be released, overcome, changed or healed within yourself or your life and begin to move forward and create a life you love!
P.S. Because this is a workbook, people can be unsure of whether to buy the paper or kindle version. I bought the Kindle version personally, then bought a lovely notebook to write out the answers to the questions in! This way I can do the workbook again and again as I grow and change and never have to buy another copy ;).
Description from Amazon: Style Your Mind is a workbook and lifestyle guide for women who wish to make personal and professional changes using the life coaching process. Filled with powerful questions, thought-provoking activities, inspirational quotes, and lifestyle tips, master life coach and bestselling personal development author Cara Alwill Leyba leads you on a journey to style your mind, empower yourself, and ultimately live your most gorgeous life.
The full title of this book is, “Happy Bitch: The girl-friend’s straight up guide to losing the baggage and finding the fun, fabulous you inside.”
Her book is written in a way which makes you feel like you’re sitting down with a glass of wine or cup of coffee for a nice chat with a good friend! Keryl is super honest and raw with her story and how she came through the hard times to get to where she is today!
She talks about the conscious and subconscious mind, how the two relate to each other and how to use this knowledge to our advantage. Throughout the books she uses this metaphor of us all being “baggage handlers” in life and as we grow and our life develops we are given more and more bags to carry, so it’s up to us to choose which bags we carry and which we let go of.
With this metaphor in mind at the end of each chapter she gives us a thought or habit to lose and a thought or habit to choose. Her personal stories and examples throughout the book helps us to create our own examples and ways in which these lessons can relate to and be created within our own lives.
Keryl gives advice and practical tips on:
Setting goals and make them happen
Controling our emotions rather than having our emotions control us
Living in the present moment rather than the past
Contributing to the happiness of yourself and others
The link of mental health on physical health
Bringing out the best in others and the best in every less-than-awesome situation
Perspective forming reality
Description from Amazon: Have you ever wondered why some women are miserable bitches and others are happy bitches? The answers might surprise you.
Join Keryl Pesce as she shares her newfound perspective and strength following a painful divorce. Follow along and learn how regardless of your baggage, you too can transform your life from one of heartache and struggle to one of peace and lasting happiness. Imagine being freed from regrets of the past and worries about the future. Yes! It is possible! The truth is, it’s easier than you think. You already hold the secret to happiness in your hands right this very moment.
The full title of this book is, “You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life”.
Picking up this book and reading a few pages instantly boosted me when I was feeling unmotivated or had low energy. This book had me chuckling the whole way through. It breaks down any complicated ideas or theories into easy-to-understand chunks, in easy-to-understand language.
The thing I really love about this book is that the action step “Love Yourself” is mentioned in every single list of action steps! That’s how important it is 🙂
Jen includes personal stories and examples of how each point has worked or been applied in her own life. The book includes information on:
The power of the subconscious mind
Advice, tips and ways to have your subconscious mind working for you instead of against you
How to change the limiting stories and beliefs you hold
Practical tips and advice on how to love and accept yourself,
care less about the judgement of others
what your purpose in life is,
forgiving yourself and others,
dealing with and avoiding overwhelm,
feeling the fear and doing it anyway,
changing your perception,
making life changing decisions
positive mindset around money,
following through with ACTION
and a whole list of awesome books at the end to dig into if you like what you read!
Jen also has a book called You Are a Badass at Making Money which I am currently reading and went straight out and bought after reading this one because I LOVE this book so much! I have a whole notebook filled because of this book and am currently filling another with my new positive money mindset thanks to Jen!
Honestly, this book is probably the one that got me most excited and fired up this year! Highly recommend!
Description from Amazon: YOU ARE A BADASS IS THE SELF-HELP BOOK FOR PEOPLE WHO DESPERATELY WANT TO IMPROVE THEIR LIVES BUT DON’T WANT TO GET BUSTED DOING IT.
In this refreshingly entertaining how-to guide, bestselling author and world-traveling success coach, Jen Sincero, serves up 27 bitesized chapters full of hilariously inspiring stories, sage advice, easy exercises, and the occasional swear word, helping you to:
– Identify and change the self-sabotaging beliefs and behaviours that stop you from getting what you want. – Create a life you totally love. And create it NOW! – Make some damn money already. The kind you’ve never made before.
By the end of You Are a Badass, you’ll understand why you are how you are, how to love what you can’t change, how to change what you don’t love, and how to use The Force to kick some serious ass.
The full title of this book is, “Radical Self-Love: A Guide to Loving Yourself and Living Your Dreams”.
Gala Darling is all about fully embracing yourself and letting your freak flag fly high. She is colourful and animated, with an unapologetic sense of style and she is unafraid to stand out and be proud of who she is (Hello, she officially changed her name to Gala Darling!).
She is very much into positive body image after struggling with an eating disorder in her own life, she loves fashion and having a unique sense of style, embracing your sexuality and loving life!
She gives advice on:
positive body image,
self-love and self-care
making positive changes to your thoughts, habits and behaviours
having positive friendships and creating new friendships
fashion and developing your style
making a good first impression and having great charisma
surrounding yourself with things you love
dealing with toxic people and negative environments
Her advice can be easily applied and integrated into your every day life no matter what your circumstances are. If you take action on the advice and activities mentioned, your life circumstances will begin to get better and better.
There are awesome illustrations within the book as well, it’s visually pleasing!
Description from Amazon: Have you ever dreamed of a life full of laughter, love, and sequins … but felt totally clueless about how to make it happen? You’re not alone. Best-selling author and speaker Gala Darling spent years in soul-sucking jobs, battling depression, an eating disorder, and a preference for chaos and disaster—simply because she didn’t know how to create the life she dreamed about.
In Radical Self-Love, you’ll discover exactly what makes you so magnificent, and you’ll gain a litany of tools and techniques to help you manifest a life bursting with magic, miracles, bliss, and adventure! Featuring fun homework exercises and cool illustrations, this book will take you from learning to fall madly in love with yourself, to loving others, to making your world a more magical place through style, self-expression, and manifestation.
When you love yourself, life is limitless. You can do anything you want. It’s time to throw off the shackles of expectation and judgment, and start living from your heart. It’s time to astound yourself with how beautiful your life can be. It’s time to treat every single day like a celebration!
“I believe that radical self-love can go hand in hand with a ruby-red lip. . . . that learning how to love yourself can be a party: streamers, disco balls, helium balloons, and all!” xo, Gala
The full title of this book is “Jump…And Your Life Will Appear: An Inch-by-Inch Guide to Making a Major Change.”
The great thing about this book is that it not only gives advice on making positive changes, much like the others do, but it goes more in depth about how to continue with these changes when the going gets tough, and gives advice on what to do after you’ve made the changes, rather than just having you make the change and then figure out how to navigate your new life afterwards all by yourself.
Nancy uses her own massive life change (divorce) to give examples for each point and help us to put theory into practice. There are also short stories from other people who have made changes within their lives and how the change helped make their lives better :).
The book is filled with questions to ask yourself to help you get really clear on any changes you’d like to make and how to begin making them. At the end of each chapter there is a moment of forgiveness, either for yourself or for someone else.
I absolutely love this book! It is definitely one to take notes on and to read again and again every time you’re thinking of making a change!
Description from Amazon: Are you ready to make changes in your life—but feel something is holding you back? Is your soul asking you to take a leap—but you’re too afraid to take it? Are you ready for something new—but aren’t sure where to start?
If this sounds like you, the book you hold in your hands will give you the courage and faith you need to jump across the threshold from where you are—to where you want to be. Jump . . . and Your Life Will Appear is a step-by-step guide to clearing the path ahead so you can let go and make the change you need the most. With a series of effective exercises, coach and author Nancy Levin will walk you through your fear, usher you up to the moment of jumping, and help you navigate what awaits on the other side.
Whether you want to switch careers, move to a different part of the world, set boundaries with someone in your life, or increase your capacity for self-love, Jump . . . and Your Life Will Appear will support you on a practical path from start to finish.
The full title of this book is, “The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment”.
This is a book that I have heard mentioned and quoted from again and again. So many of the authors above talk about the lessons they learned from this book and from Eckhart’s teachings. I have a friend who read it and said it changed his life. My newest, amazing (in person) mentor, Stevey McGeown, who trained with Bob Proctor, has mentioned this book over and over again too.
When a book keeps being mentioned by people who’s opinions matter to me, I’m going to take notice!
I’ve only began to read this book within the last few days, so I can’t talk about all the benefits it has had on my life…YET! I know and trust that there will be many mini breakthroughs and light-bulb moments during the reading of it, as I had with the books above!
Description from Amazon: To make the journey into The Power of Now we will need to leave our analytical mind and its false created self, the ego, behind. Although the journey is challenging, Eckhart Tolle offers simple language and a question and answer format to show us how to silence our thoughts and create a liberated life.
Surrender to the present moment, where problems do not exist. It is here we find our joy, are able to embrace our true selves and discover that we are already complete and perfect. If we are able to be fully present and take each step in the Now we will be opening ourselves to the transforming experience of The Power of Now.
It is in your hands. Discover The Power of Now.
I want absolutely EVERYBODY in the world (and especially everyone reading this) to make 2018 their best year yet and really LOVE life! If you’re a reader and have been thinking of ways to make life improvements, and you enjoy what you read on this blog, then I really recommend the books above!
Please get in touch to let me know if you have read or will be reading any of the books above! I’d love to hear from you!
”’Tis the season to be jolly falalalala lalalalaaaaa. It’s the time of the year where many people curate their environment to represent Christmas time! The environment inside homes change and even the shops change their decor and music, the streets change with all the Christmas lights and the events happening all have Christmas themes! Christmas shouldn’t be the only time we curate our environment though…
It’s so important that we have an environment that makes us happy and inspires us. It’s especially important in our homes, as this is one place we spend a lot of time in and it’s also one place that we have more creative control over! Every day you see in the contents of your home and you take in how those contents make you feel. Yes, it’s true, perception is what determines how you feel about something, but what if you don’t always have to “decide” to perceive your environment as being awesome, because you’re surrounded by things that are awesome to you anyway? Sounds good to me! Here’s how you can get started:
1) Clear the Clutter
When I say clear the clutter I don’t necessarily mean live a minimalist life, I simply mean getting rid of anything that you really don’t need or want any more. What are you holding on to that could really be donated or dumped to create more breathing room and less weight on your shoulders? Is it those clothes from five years ago you’re “waiting” to fit into again? Is it those “important documents” from 7 years ago that went straight into storage the moment they arrived and haven’t seen the light of day since? If you haven’t used something within two years and it’s not an ESSENTIAL item you need to live life with, it’s probably time to say goodbye to it.
Free up some space in your home, get the duster out and prepare to be able to breathe easier! Aaaaahhh doesn’t that feel better?
2) Boudoir Magic
Our bedroom is where we end the day. Whether it’s been a good day or a bad day it would be awesome to end that day in a space that makes us feel relaxed and happy! It’s also where we start the day and so it would be amazing to wake up in an environment that makes us feel great to set the tone for the day ahead!
A bedroom is one place where you should feel 100% comfortable to be YOU, in all your uniquely weird and awesome glory. Decorate your bed how you like it with some bed sheets, blankets and pillows you LOVE. Paint the walls your favourite colour or cover them in lovely pictures or prints if you are renting and can’t change the wall colour. Decorate with things you love whether that be some good books, nice lamps or fairy lights, wall stickers, the colour pink or blue, a make-up station or a work desk. Do your thing in there, decorate it however you like it and if your bedroom is somewhere that YOU can walk into and feel happy to be there, then your mission is complete!
3) I can kiss better than I can cook
Generally we use our plates and bowls and mugs and glasses from our kitchens everyday. In my kitchen I have a red microwave, toaster, kettle, knife rack, kitchen roll holder, dish drying rack and bread bin because I’m a big fan of red and of colour co-ordinated kitchen items!
I have plates and bowls I enjoy eating with, forks spoons and knives I enjoy using, an awesome, motivational print calendar with a new print and quote for each day, mugs that I love and a little piggy shaped speaker so I can play my favourite music while I’m cooking and cleaning in there!
Whatever your thing is, be it skulls, the colour green or elephant print, choose items for your kitchen that you use and see everyday with consideration to how they’ll make you feel when you use them!
4) Dress to impress (yourself)
Wear clothes that YOU love, not to make anyone else happy or to avoid judgement. If you love stripy leggings, wear stripy leggings. If you love black, wear lots of black. If you love flowers, wear flowery clothes. If there’s an item of clothing you’ve had in your wardrobe waiting for the “right occasion” or an item that you love but only wear in front of the mirror in your bedroom and never out of the house…it’s time to create an occasion and wear those clothes out of the house!
If you see something in a shop that looks nice but you don’t even try it on because you think “I could never pull it off though”, TRY IT ON! Trying it on is free and private. Then if you love the item on you BUY it and wear it out! We all wear clothes everyday (well, maybe not every day) and so it makes sense to love the clothes we wear! My top tip for if you live in quite a cold country is to at least have a coat or jacket that you love, since it’ll be worn the most out of all your clothes!
While we’re on this subject, ladies, do you know your bra size? When is the last time you were measured? I remember when I was guessing my size and running around in a 38E for about a year or more before finally getting measured and being a 34FF. The right size of bra makes a huge difference to our posture. We stand taller and feel more comfortable, our boobs sit in the “right” place and we can appear slimmer. Our clothes fit and look better too, not to mention less back and shoulder pain because we are properly supported! If it’s been 6 months or more since you’ve had a fitting go and treat yourself to a well-fitting bra. You’ll thank yourself for it!
5) How cosy is your living room?
Living room, family room or sitting room. You all know the one I mean. The room where the sofa and the tv is. The room the kids spend all day playing and making a mess in. That room. This is another room we spend a lot of time in and therefore another room it’s important to enjoy being in :).
If you don’t love your sofa or chairs in there, throw nice blankets and pillows over them. If you don’t love your furniture so much, some DIY could come in handy to spruce it up a little. A lick of paint to create a feature wall or nice photos of family, art work by the kids or nice prints from charity shops will brighten up the room. A shelf with good books or movies, scented candles, ornaments or a nice lamp for evening time to set the mood will make all the difference. You don’t have to save up for total redecoration! It’s the little personal touches that really make a room a nice place to be in!
6) Brum Brum BEEP BEEP
If you hadn’t guessed by that heading up there, we’re gonna talk about the car now. Usually we are heading to a destination when we get in our cars, and not just driving for fun (although that does happen). If we are going to work or to see a friend it’s a good idea to be in a positive frame of mind when arriving there and one way to help make this happen is to have a pleasant experience in our car on the way there!
Your car may not be the car of your dreams, but you can still love being in it! Make it smell nice in there, keep it free of rubbish, give it a wash outside and a vacuum inside. Hang up some pink dice, a Hawiian lei or get a nodding dog for the dash board. Put some covers over the seats if you like, or get a sparkly steering wheel cover. If you’re sick of hearing all the bad news on the radio, listen to some music that you love, a good audiobook or podcast instead! If you’re anything like me you throw full on award winning performances in the car, singing and dancing (as much as possible) to your favourite music. Even when the kids are in the car and begin getting restless it can be as simple as flicking on some Let it Go and doing my best Elsa impression to get us all in the groove again. Do your best to enjoy every moment in the car, especially if you spend a lot of time in there!
If your “workplace” is your home because you’re a stay at home Mum then I’ve got you covered with all the other ideas on here. But if you work outside of the home and have a certain amount of creative control over the place where you work then number 7 is for you!
Can you customise your Uniform at all? Even if it’s just through accessories, footwear or nail polish? If you totally choose your own clothes, just as long as they are “professional type clothes”, you can still choose clothes you like! Maybe you can choose a blouse in your favourite colour or a dress that hugs your body beautifully. Decorate your desk or office space in a way which inspires you. Choose motivational prints or and use funky stationary. Download an awesome computer screensaver and background theme so you enjoy looking at it more. Plug in some ear phones and listen to non-distracting music while you work if that gets you into the flow. Take a break and sip coffee from a favourite mug while reading a book you enjoy or listening to a podcast you love so that you go back to work feeling refreshed and ready to get stuck in again. How can you make your workplace a more enjoyable place for you to be?
8) Who ya following on Facebook and Insta?
In today’s world many of us spend at least some part of each day on social media. If you’re not choosy about who and what you have on your feed it can often be filled with a lot of negativity and drama. If we’re spending lots of time online we may as well make it a happy place to be! One thing I see happening often on Facebook especially, is that people see a video or post that makes them angry or disgusted and they share it to help others feel angry and disgusted too! Have you ever seen those graphic animal abuse videos that are being shared for absolutely no GOOD reason? Or those passive aggressive, attention-seeking, drama-stirring posts that go something like “Some people need to learn some manners.”? Those posts don’t make Facebook a nice place to be! Maybe you see a lot of shocking news posts and freak out a little about how safe the world around you is. Maybe you’re still friends with your ex and feel faintly sick when a post by them pops up, especially if it’s in relevance to another girl.
My advice here is unfollow, delete, block, unfriend, hide and unlike any pages that are popping up in your feed and making you feel angry, upset, disgusted, jealous, bitter, anxious or any other negative emotion. It doesn’t matter to me who the people posting these things are, they have got to go. They could be your friends or family, in which case an unfollow or a “hide post” could work better than a unfriend, so as not to hurt any feelings.
After you’ve given your feed a good clear out, go fill it with things that make you happy to see! Like that motivational quotes page, or that page filled with pictures of puppies, flowers, sugar skulls, healthy food recipes, cute outfits, make-up looks, funny memes, cocktail recipes, cats, holiday ideas, or WHATEVER you love about the world! All of this goes for instagram too. Pinterest is one place we normally only pin what we LIKE to our boards and therefore it can be a much more positive place to be. Make your Facebook and instagram as pretty as your Pinterest!
While we’re here, my Facebook and instagram can be found by clicking those links, if you’re enjoying the blog and want some good posts on to brighten up your social media 😉
9) Free time is Me time
What do you do with your free time? Where do you spend that time? I hope it’s in places that you enjoy to be in! There are many of us out there who go where our friends go, even if it’s not necessarily where we would love to go. You know the times I mean, the weekend is coming up, you’ve seen a cool movie you’d like to watch so you ask your friends if they’ll come and see it with you. Those friends usually go out to the club on a Saturday night though, and they’ll be going there this Saturday too. So instead of going to see the movie alone, you go out to the club AGAIN and live the same night that you’ve lived many times before, leaving you feeling unsatisfied, bored and maybe badly hungover on Sunday morning. Has something similar to this happened to you before?
Or maybe in your free time you help other people with their problems. You’re running around picking things up from shops for people, babysitting kids, redecorating rooms and cleaning up gardens. This is all absolutely great obviously, but not if it’s at the total expense of your own self-care and you feel exhausted and depressed because of it. You can’t pour from an empty cup!
So do yourself a favour lovely and schedule some free time to be spent somewhere or some way in which you really want to spend it. Go to see that cool movie, go to a dance class you’ve always wanted to go to but haven’t found anyone to go with yet, go and watch that Football match, go to that Comic Con convention dressed as Gandalf the White, join that Yoga class, go and see that Broadway show, go and get your nails done, book that massage or get in the car and take that trip to the beach! Being able to do things alone is a real asset to you living a life you love and you never know, there’s a chance you’ll meet some new friends while you’re at it!
10) Who are you surrounded by?
Jim Rohn famously said we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with. So take a look around at who you’re closest to and ask yourself do you want to be like them? Do you enjoy spending time with them? Do they lift you up and support you or insult you and destroy your self-worth? Do you feel happy when you’re around them and after you see them?
I remember when I split up with my emotionally abusive ex and started a course with Women’s Aid . One of the questions that was on a sheet of “20 questions to ask yourself about a new partner” was “do you like yourself less when you’re around them?” THIS QUESTION you guys! Ask this question about EVERYBODY you spend time with. Ask it about your Mum and Dad, sister and brother, partner and best friend, co-workers and club members. It’s such a simple question to answer as well. If you find yourself questioning your worth, telling yourself off because of something you said that was seemingly harmless but started a big fight, feeling guilty, anxious, less-than, forgotten about, unloved, unlikable, like a burden or unattractive because of how a certain person treats you then it’s time to step away from that person. You don’t have to make it a massive deal, it can be as simple as spending less time with them. If it’s a partner then it could be time to think about ending it with them. Ask yourself “is this really the relationship I always dreamed of?” Take the reality of what is happening around you and make a decision based on that, not the potential of the situation or how great it’ll be when so and so happens, or this gets sorted, or work calms down, or we move house, or we get that car.
When you stop spending time with people who suck the soul out of you, people you can’t be fully yourself with, or who you have to walk on eggshells around, you are free to spend some more time taking care of yourself, going to events and clubs you want to go to and meeting some new people! The first step with something like this can be as simple as joining some interesting Facebook groups! If you can’t physically surround yourself with supportive people as much as you’d like, you can find them online! Search for groups about things you’re interested in, make some new friends and fill your inbox with friendly faces! If we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, I want to make those five people absolutely fabulous, successful, kind, loving, ambitious, and positive people! Don’t you?
And there we have it! 10 ideas to help you change up your daily environment a little and make the world around you a more enjoyable place to be! I hope you loved these ideas and implement some of them into your life! Please get in touch to let me know how it goes, or if you have any questions for me! I’d love to hear from you!
Rules to live by is a weekly feature where I bring you some simple ideas for leveling up your life using an easy to remember slogan! I personally live by these rules, as do so many of my mentors and idols (whom I’ll mention as we go). See if you can pick out any you like, or even suggest a new rule for the feature that I can put my own spin on.
There’s a pretty well known quote in the world that goes something like “if at first you don’t succeed then try, try and try again”. I love the idea behind this quote, of course it’s a great thing to teach our kids resilience. However there’s also a very well known definition of insanity; doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. When I originally thought about writing this rule for life I took the idea behind both quotes and came up with my own quote which is to “think like a scientist”. Read on to discover what exactly I mean by this…
Scientists visualise the result they want or expect before they begin their experiment
Visualisation is a very powerful tool that we ALL have access to. A scientist receives information or an idea about an experiment and sees it in their mind before they begin to work on it. It’s the same with all of us in any situation really, we get an idea to do something before we do it (sometimes the idea and the action are very close together like dancing on a table in da club if ya know what I mean) or we receive information about a local yoga class and think “yeah that sounds cool”. So this visualisation process is something we’re all doing already, it’s not a new concept, it happens to us all on a daily basis and it’s otherwise known as daydreaming, using your imagination or playing the “if I won the lottery game”.
What if I told you that you could bring more awesome things into your life by visualising more awesome things? It’s called the law of attraction and it would be a whole other blog post, but trust me, it works. So make like a scientist and begin visualising the “result” you want in life!
They begin planning the experiment
Materials are gathered, the time is planned out, the excitement levels go up and action is taken. Usually the ideal result is written down too. This is also a powerful tool we can all use to help us create the lives we love, it’s also known as manifesting. Act “as if” you’re already where you want to be in life, make decisions from that place. Write about your ideal day using the 3 P’s – present (tense), positive and personal.
The scientist begins the experiment knowing that different variables will produce different results and that’s perfectly fine because this helps the Scientist figure out what works well, what works not so well and how the different variables relate to one another.
They take the known and mix it with the unknown to see what happens
A Scientist usually has some knowledge of what is going to happen, but as it is an experiment, they aren’t exactly sure of every single result, otherwise why would they do it in the first place? Usually every experiment is a learning experience for the Scientist and they have fun doing it. You could say that they step slightly out of their comfort zone with each experiment, just to see what happens.
Say for example you like playing Netball and you’re pretty good at it; you could try some Volley Ball or Basketball to shake things up a little. Maybe you enjoy ice skating and can weave reasonably well between the other ice skaters on the rink; it’s time to try some Roller Derby. You could really love singing and have gotten some compliments from friends and family; that karaoke or open mic night looks appealing! You get the idea.
If there’s a targeted result they’re after, they will keep going until they get that result
Some experiments are just for fun but some are for a targeted result. They know trying the same thing over and over will get the same result and so something must be changed each time, even if it’s only a small change. Usually the Scientist will keep experimenting and experimenting until they achieve the result they wanted. Sometimes they will achieve an even better result than planned, or an even more interesting one, in which case the experiment was a raging success anyway, because the outcome was even better than perceived.
When the experiment fails or succeeds the experiment has failed or succeeded.
When an experiment fails Scientists see the experiment as a failure, rather than seeing themselves as a failure. It’s the same when an experiment succeeds. The Scientist knows the difference between an experiment failing and failing as a person. Their self-worth isn’t tied to whether the experiment fails or succeeds. No matter the result of the experiment they are still a living, breathing, worthy and valuable human being who had some fun experimenting and MAYBE came away from it producing something pretty great.
This might also be a fantastic time to point out that Scientists rarely perceive any experiment as a failure anyway, because every negative result is always HELPFUL to gaining the positive result. Every negative result reveals information, which is very valuable to Scientists, as all information helps towards gaining the result that is wanted!
Scientists enjoy their experiments, no matter the results. It’s the doing that’s enjoyed the most! The experiment is exactly that – an experiment – and the positive or negative result doesn’t determine the Scientist’s worth as a person. Each variable and each perceived failure helps the Scientist to learn more about making the experiment a success! Some would even say they wouldn’t have gotten the result they did without the “failures”. The post-it note and Coca Cola were invented by accident after all!
Thanks for reading! I’d love to hear how much this helped you or if there’s any topic you’d like me to write about in future! Leave a comment or you can catch me on Facebook or Instagram
Yes, this whole thing is a metaphor. Yes, I actually did a fire walk. No, my feet didn’t get burned. Yes, it was very hot. Yes, I would do it again. I hope you enjoy this post!
On 27th October 2017 I went to an event called “Ignite Your Ultimate Power”. This event was all about tapping into the power that we all have inside of us, claiming it and using it to propel us forward in life, get past those fear barriers and achieve the things we want to achieve. So, of course there had to be a test at the end to see if we had all taken it in and could use the methods taught! This test came in the form of a walking over hot coals! YAAAAYY! So here are the 6 reasons I was able to walk over these coals without being burned!
1 I was in the correct mindset before I began
Before I began the walk I had spent all day preparing. I had been shouting positive affirmations, believing in myself, feeling fantastic about all my successes in life! I had been gathering my mental strength, psyching myself up, shouting more positive affirmations (I WILL DEFY THE ODDS) and really tapping into the idea that I can do anything I set my mind to. YES YES YES!
2 I watched others do it before me
I knew we were all human and if they can do it I could do it. There were males, females, people older than me, people from all different backgrounds and with different life circumstances. None of that mattered. We were all human; we were all equal and all facing the same challenge. We were all able to do it if we believed we were able to do it.
3 I had a friendly face to give me encouragement before I stepped on to the coals
At the beginning of each fire walk there was a person there waiting to give us encouragement before we stepped off the grass. These friends were making sure I was in the right mindset. They kept the energy levels UP and kept us in the mindset of absolute certainty.
4 I walked with purpose
I took strong certain strides, even when a felt a lot of heat and a spark of pain beneath my feet. That spark of pain put a little skip in my step, made my heart beat faster and gave me an adrenaline rush. Your body is a wonderful thing; It will give you the tools to continue on, even when your mind falters. A great example of this happening is giving birth! I didn’t consciously push my baby out – it just happened!
5 I was surrounded by supportive people on all and sides of me – in front, behind and beside and felt that support the entire time I was on the coals
I could hear the people around me chanting “yes” and cheering me on. I could feel the positive energy all around me. Energy is contagious. I absorbed all of it to help me keep going.
6 I kept my eyes on the other side, I did not look down and I did not look back.
Looking back or looking down would have thrown me. I may have stumbled, I may have stopped or I may have stepped off the side. I may have panicked. So I kept looking forward and aiming for the other side.
After I stepped off the coals I got an instant reward – not only in the form of a wet mat and cool water from a watering can poured over my feet, but also in the form of self belief, feeling proud of myself and feeling super powerful. I surprised myself. I felt alive and full of energy, like I could do anything!
If you read the above with a new perspective you’ll see this could have been called “The 6 ingredients for the recipe of success.” You can take these 6 ingredients – mindset, success of others, close friend to spur you on, walking with purpose, surrounding yourself with support, keeping your eyes on the other side – and mix them to help you through most challenges in life. You don’t even need all the ingredients for the success recipe. Ingredients 1, 3 and 6 are great together! Or even 1, 2, 4 and 5. One ingredient I will always recommend is #1. It’s #1 for a reason! It alone may even be enough!
Thanks for reading! I’d love to hear if this resonated you! Leave a comment or you can catch me on facebook or instagram.